Helping Your Children Discover Their Hobbies
Hobbies are good for the soul. Through them, your child can end up with all sorts of skills and values that they wouldn't necessarily learn otherwise. If raising a child with hobbies is important to you, read on as Beijing United Family Hospital's (BJU's) Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Esperanza Salinas, takes us through some dos and don'ts of discovering and nurturing your child's hobbies.
Picking a hobby
Some children gravitate naturally to certain activities – and that’s great! But others may benefit from a little bit of guidance when it comes to finding what kind of after-school activity they may enjoy. To help give them direction with this, Dr. Salinas suggests exposing them to different types of activities and seeing what they are drawn to. “I think that, as kids are developing (during preschool, kindergarten, and first grade), they’re still figuring out what they like, and so it’s good to have them try different things and see what they gravitate toward,” she advises. “Expose them to activities like athletics, theater, reading and writing, film-making, photography, and art, and see what they like. I’m not a proponent of bombarding kids with 20 after-school activities, but rather picking a few of them – say, one or two sports and an arts class – and having them master those skills before moving them on to something else.”
Nurturing that hobby
Once your child has done a bit of exploring and finds something they enjoy, it’s time to nurture this hobby and make it more fun for them. Help them explore it by participating in the hobby at home. “There are family sports activities that you can do, and there are ways to be active as a family,” says Dr. Salinas. “The family can do music together – whether that be playing an instrument, singing songs, or listening to music at home. If the child is into writing and reading, then maybe it’s creating stories together, or writing these stories down.” In this endeavor of nurturing your child’s hobbies, Dr. Salinas stresses that consistency is key. “Don’t try one semester of tennis and, if your child doesn’t pick it up, then give up and decide it’s not their thing,” she warns. “Do it until they develop those skills, and if the child says, ‘You know, Mom, I’m just not into this anymore,’ then you can switch to something else."
Making your peace with it
You may have a strong opinion about what kind of hobby your child should or should not pursue; perhaps you don’t see the point of an arty hobby as it won’t lead to as many career opportunities, or perhaps you think the sport they’ve chosen is too dangerous. But Dr. Salinas emphasizes that when it comes to the things your child is passionate about, your opinion shouldn't get in the way. “I think that the main goal for your children is that they’re happy, they’re thriving, and they’re pursuing activities that are going to make them great adults and give them skills that they can use later in life,” she says. “If we push them too hard and prevent them from doing what they love, then we get push-back and rebellion from the child. You also don’t get a genuine kid. You have to remember that they’re not you, they’re their own person. We may see ourselves in them, but they have to become their own person,” she says.
So, if you really hate the hobby that your child has chosen, Dr. Salinas advises that you should try to find a way to accept their choice and be okay with it. Understand that a child who loves drawing can become an illustrator, an art teacher, or an architect. A child who loves rugby will learn values like discipline, camaraderie, and team spirit. A child who joins the drama club may learn confidence and diction, and they may excel at public speaking. “You have to see the value in their hobby for other things,” Dr. Salinas concludes.
Dr. Esperanza Salinas is an American board-certified child and adult psychiatrist. She speaks English and Spanish. To make an appointment with her, call the BJU Service Center at 4008-919191.
Missed our Q&A with Dr. Salinas? Get all caught up here.
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